When you can turn off that button things change drastically in a good way.
Would you like to know the secret of how too.
Well I’m about to tell you AGAIN if I haven’t already but its okay because I feel in this day in age its something that needs to be circulated again and again and again because no matter how hard you try drilling it in to your clients or to your friends its not something that can be changed until YOU start implementing the changes.
So how to turn it off?
Before we get there you might want to reflect a little and ask yourself;
Why do you care in the first place?
What insecurities are creeping up?
What flashbacks are coming into existence?
Is there someone in particular that makes you feel this way?
Was it an event that took place a long time ago?
Because to really turn it off or to be able to control this emotion and feeling you first have to figure out the source. This is what I call in my coaching sessions, 'getting to the root'.
Might be worth at this point considering reaching out to a therapist, a coach, or someone you think you can trust and really start digging deep into conversation to figuring out what is this root.
Look from my experience working with clients, it could be something a parent said to you that sticks with you and has changed your belief systems. My dad has said a number of things unintentionally of course but its played its part in my life.
It could be what that kid or even teacher said to you once upon a time. It could be the results you obtained and then look across at everyone in the classroom and the comparison you put upon yourself subsequently after that when you realised you under achieved.
There is a trigger to why you care. When you are able to control how you react to the trigger you’ll see how you’re now in a better place. But this takes work too. Its not an easy fix because it requires you now taking action every time that trigger rises to the surface. (Hence why I said speak to someone about it)
So let's assume now we’ve got the trigger. We’ve understood what makes us care so much. The next step is the easiest step. And it’s simply to ignore them. Ignore it. Walk away. Smile it off.
Now reading this you’re probably thinking how is it that easy. I know. I feel you. But its because you’re still triggered. You still care what they say or what they’ll say. You’ve not let it go and right now its behaving like a weight on your shoulders.
Let go of that weight and then see what happens. It’s like putting your phone on silent mode and then sticking it on do not disturb. Essentially you are doing that with your thought process and your emotions and feelings to the negativity that is about to be thrown your way.
So when you now turn up in that fluorescent looking outfit, or you posted that photo that you knew people were going to take the piss out of, you suddenly just stop caring.
You learn to smile and accept its an opinion and there is no factual evidence that you look like an orange or your caption on your new photo is a tad cringe.
You just shrug your shoulders and walk away all now because you’ve chosen to not let it effect you.
Simple right. So if this is something you want to work on, go back to the first step.
Workout the triggers. Workout what bothers you and gets you feeling this way. Hire someone to help you uncover all that’s in your mind and rewire that mindset.
It can work real wonders when you get a hang of it.